The Secret of Her Distress
by RRSherlock
Summary: Deanna Troi has an antipathy to Sickbay. Ever wondered why? This is my version.
1. Chapter 1

The Secret of Her Distress

Disclaimer: I don't own ST:TNG, the gods at Paramount do—and they make more money than I do!

A/N: So every time Deanna lands in / is taken / asked to go to sickbay, she protests. Why? Thus the story…enjoy! PS – this is a reject story for Strange New Worlds. Maybe you could tell me what I should have done differently?

Chapter 1

They captured her to prove their point; they were the ones in control now. It was a power move Lieutenant Commander Deanna Troi understood. The rebels had stormed the palace, taken her to the main room and tied her hand and foot to the old royal throne. The captivity she could cope with, but she didn't like the immobility factor. Deanna thought she'd be rescued quickly, but as the hours passed, her personal uneasiness with the situation grew. How long were they going to leave her tied to the throne?

Then, after several hours, without cause or explanation, they blindfolded her. At first, she started to hyperventilate, but some calming exercises and a promise to herself that when she was rescued, she could break down and have a good cry. The blindfold didn't permit any light, but Deanna could hear her captors all around. Normally not a violent society, circumstances of a corrupt king and council forced them into abhorrent actions. Deanna heard heavy footsteps cross the room and come up the steps of the dais where she was bound. She recognized the voice of the leader as he shouted to his men while checking her bindings. Distracted by what his men were shouting, he allowed the blindfold to slip, momentarily blinding Deanna. Blurred and tearing after the hours behind the blindfold, she could see the rebels fighting some darker shapes. Amid the shouts of the rebels, she heard a familiar sound—the whine of the transporter. Blinking quickly to clear her vision, she recognized the central figure. Worf had come to her rescue.

Brandishing a phaser rifle, and flanked by a full security team, Worf led the charge into the room, tossing rebels out of the way one-handed, occasionally firing shots, stunning the ill-prepared rebels. Rushing up the few steps of the dais, Worf took position directly behind the throne while the security team formed a protective circle around them. Calling for a beam-out, Worf, the security team and Deanna, still bound to the throne, materialized into Sickbay.

Deanna couldn't see anything beyond the security team's uniformed backs and her immobility was threatening to drive her insane. The precious hold she had over her control was slipping. If she couldn't get free soon, she'd either start screaming or pass out. Worf put a hand on her shoulder to reassure her, but it only served to bring the fear and panic she had held at bay for so long rushing towards the surface. One of the security team began pulling at the bindings of her legs and she could see Alyssa Ogawa coming towards her, but she lost her control and had but one thought before she lost consciousness, "Not again!"


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to everyone who found the story! This has been in the depths of my hard drive for a while, but I felt the need to post... Please feel free to comment (good or bad). Happy Reading!

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**Chapter 2**

Troi awoke with a start, screaming. She flung her arms out, desperate to know they weren't bound. Her breath came in heaving gasps as she called out, "Computer, lights!"

As her eyes adjusted, she let the nightmare recede. She sat on her bed, knees drawn to her chest, and told herself over and over it had been just a dream. She was safe; she was back on the Enterprise. The rebels surrendered to the newly elected president and, in the interest of peace, the Federation didn't press charges for her kidnapping. On one hand, Deanna agreed with the Federation. Why start an interstellar incident over one officer? Yet, a part of her, albeit a small one, was angry. Why hadn't Picard fought harder for the rebels' punishment?

Deanna lost track of time, reassuring herself that she was safe, and was startled when the door chimed. Quickly glancing at the chronometer, she noticed Beverly was right on time. "Come in."

Beverly came into the bedroom. "So, Deanna, how did you sl—oh, not another one!"

Deanna just looked at her. What could she say?

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Beverly admonished her best friend, "It's been two weeks. Don't you think you should see someone about these nightmares?"

"Beverly, I am a qualified therapist. And you know the saying, 'Physician heal thyself!'"

"But, Deanna, we're not talking about a scrape on your knee. This is psychological." Beverly couldn't believe she was still refusing help. "There are several other psychologists on board and you have friends who will listen—"

Jumping off the bed, Deanna shouted, "No!"

"Really, Deanna, if you're worried about your pride. . ." Beverly let her tone convey more than just the words. Deanna's nightmares were starting to scare her!

Deanna relaxed her posture. "It's not just my pride, Beverly. I need to be able to sort this out myself. I need to." Her eyes pleaded for her friend to understand.

Beverly threw her hands up exclaiming, "All right! But, if you have one more nightmare, I'm moving in so I can keep my eyes on you myself!" she said decisively.

Four nights later, Beverly found herself wishing Deanna had opted for the the deluxe model sofa. It wasn't the worst sleep she ever had, but certainly not as comfortable as her own bed.

In the bedroom itself, the sleeping occupant wasn't getting any better rest than her new roommate. Images swirled and mingled together. People from the past and present interacted and did strange things. One person seemed to be after her. He was tall and moved faster than she did. She tried to run but it was no use. He caught up with her and, in one swift move, he tackled her to the ground and began strangling her.

"NO!" Deanna screamed as she awoke from yet another nightmare. Sweat and tears streamed down her face. Her breath came in ragged gasps.

"What did you dream this time?" Dr. Beverly Crusher asked her friend as she stepped in from the living room and ran the tricorder over her body.

"Will ... " dissolving into tears.

"Hey! It's all right, Deanna. It was just a dream. What did Will do?"

"He... he...tried to kill me!"

Beverly just gasped. Of all Deanna's dreams, this was the most violent. She decided to ask again, "Please, won't you let me take you to Sickbay and monitor you there?" Deanna's answer was exactly as she expected, an emphatic "no," but still it didn't hurt to try. Beverly reached into her medical kit and grabbed the hypospray.

"This will let you sleep without dreams. You need the rest. "

Deanna's breathing had calmed down. "Will I still be able to help Captain Picard tomorrow?"

"Not a problem, this is just a small dose. Plenty of time for you to make it to the conference tomorrow morning."

Deanna nodded her head and heard the hiss of the hypo against her neck. As she drifted off to sleep, she thought she heard Beverly say something about sooner or later getting to the bottom of her antipathy towards Sickbay.

"Ah, Counselor. Good Morning." Captain Picard greeted her with a steaming cup of coffee. "We're about an hour from the conference site."

"How are the delegates?"

"Will's checking on them now. He's ... What's the matter, Counselor?" Picard stopped as he noticed her shuddering.

"It's nothing, really." She shook her head in an attempt to dislodge the memory of her dream.

"If you're sure."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Knowing she had several hours while Deanna and the captain were placating elderly delegates, Beverly Crusher sat down in front of her console and pondered her choices. Chewing the end of her stylus, Beverly knew she could continue to care for Deanna exactly as she had been, with compassion and understanding, but little else.

Or... or she could attempt to get to the root of Deanna's troubles and put an end to her antipathy toward Sickbay once and for all. Beverly sighed. Prying into a stranger's background was one thing. Prying into a friend's was quite another. She bit her stylus harder. No, she'd promised the captain she'd get to the bottom of this little mystery and she would. She slapped the stylus onto her desk and punched in the codes for access to Starfleet's classified medical files. Quickly entering her query before she lost her nerve, Beverly locked in all the proper codes and authorizations and waited for the reply.

It came within minutes, Deanna's entire service record, including the 'highly classified, not usually available' information. 'Start at the beginning, Doctor,' Beverly told herself. Deanna's first few years with Starfleet were uneventful, but then, a year after her promotion to full counselor, Deanna was involved with a special mission to Grashnal, a planet developing psi talent. The record spelled out in plain medical terminology exactly what happened on Grashnal and how Deanna came to be injured, and, Beverly surmised, why Deanna had such a dislike for sickbays.

Beverly let the information sit in the back of her mind. She knew she needed to confront Deanna with it, but how? She closed the files, knowing she'd never need to read them again to remember all the details, and left her office. She wandered the ship, sometimes stopping to chat with other crewmembers and other times just waving hello. Continuing on, Beverly wasn't surprised to find herself in front of Deanna's office. 'It's now or never,' she thought as she rang the bell.

A soft, "Come in," greeted Beverly. She said not a word until the door had completely hissed shut. When it had, she locked it and spoke just four words, "Rustim Telmor and Grashnal."

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_I want to thank everyone who's reading, you know who you are. I wish I knew who you were! If you liked it, review. If you didn't like it, review and tell me why. Getting reviews for writing is like getting a paycheck, and who doesn't need a few extra paychecks these days??_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Beverly was expecting a reaction and Deanna obliged. She paled, frozen like Geordi on a date. In a strangled whisper she stammered, "How... how did you? Why? Why, Beverly, why?" and tears broke and ran down her cheeks in quiet rivers.

Beverly went to her friend, knelt in front of her, took her hands into her own, and looked her straight in the eye. "I had to."

Beverly watched several emotions play on Deanna's face and wasn't too surprised when she shouted angrily, "How did you even get access? You had no right!"

"I had every right." Beverly moved from the floor to the couch next to Deanna, still holding her hands. "You wouldn't talk to another counselor, you aren't sleeping well and I don't know how many more of your dreams it would take for you to understand them. And I was afraid for your health—mental and physical. But Rustim is in your dreams, isn't he?"

Deanna looked at their hands entwined on her lap and began to speak, "Yes, its Rustim I'm seeing. I thought I had that buried far beyond recall. I thought I had dealt with it, and it would not influence my life. I guess I was wrong." She stopped talking and wouldn't meet Beverly's eyes.

Knowing Deanna would never be free until she told her story, Beverly quietly said, "Tell me what happened. Come on, Deanna, if you can't talk to me, who can you?"

Deanna nodded her head and sucked in a breath. The words began slowly, but gained speed as she began relating the events from the beginning of her career. "Rustim…Rustim was another Betazoid working with me and several others on Grashnal. Starfleet sent us there because the Grashnalans were experiencing an unbelievable breakthrough in telepathic science. A group of their scientists had discovered a way to chemically induce growth in the areas of the brain that deal with telepathy. However, there were complications. Some of their early subjects developed mental instabilities that included rogue telepathic abilities, leading to inexplicable violence. Before we arrived, there had been terrible attacks on animals—mutilations and killings—then the attacks on people began and that's when the government finally called for help."

Deanna closed her eyes and could see the planet Grashnal orbiting below, could feel the powerful emotions all over again. . .

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_A/N: I know these first couple of chapters are somewhat short, but I had never planned to break up the story...but it was WAY too long to post in its entirety. Have a little more patience and you'll be suitably rewarded. Thanks for reading!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"_Now, keep tight shields up at all times. These people have abilities we don't encounter every day, so it is imperative that you follow your orders exactly," Commander Ayven Selroi eyed her team members cautiously. The Betazoid commander considered her nine officers seated at the table. They represented the best in Starfleet's telepathic and empathic abilities, five other Betazoids and four Vulcans. The Vulcans needed physical contact for telepathy to work, so they planned to work in pairs. Of the Betazoids, she worried most about the two youngest, Deanna Troi and Rustim Talmor. Rustim was a strong telepath, with two years service aboard DS5. Deanna, on the other hand, was still so new to Starfleet, her uniform had creases in it. She was one of the strongest empaths Selroi had ever met, which would leave her completely vulnerable to the worst cases. Selroi mentally reviewed their assignments._

"_Rustim, I'd like you and Deanna to assist the medical staff with the newly-identified talents. That will keep you both on the outer ring of the medical complex. I know that others' emotions do not bother you, Rustim, but as you have more experience representing Starfleet, I'd like you to assist Lieutenant Commander Troi." Selroi turned her gaze to her youngest team member, "Deanna, this will be quite different from any assignment you've had as of yet, but I think that working with these patients will be excellent training for anything you'll encounter later in your career."_

_Selroi noted that Talmor didn't seem happy with his assignment, but decided to give it some time to see if he was up to the challenge before changing his assignment. Looking around the table, she made sure to catch everyone's eyes. "I am going to insist that everyone take a break off-planet on a daily basis. What the Grashnalans have done has never been successful on this scale before. We already know that there have been several accidents," she paused to drive home the severity the mission, "and murders. Our job is to prevent any more. Dismissed." Ayven Selroi watched her team leave the conference lounge and did not miss the looks of worry from most of them, nor the disgusted look Talmor shot her before turning to Troi and inviting her to dinner that evening._

_

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A/N: Thanks to all my readers!! _


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I just want to remind everyone that this is Deanna's flashback and Beverly's listening in... Happy reading!

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**Chapter 6**

_Almost three weeks later, Deanna and Rustim were sharing lunch in her quarters. They usually ate at least one meal together every day to discuss their patients, the others on the team, and working for Starfleet. Deanna did not feel attracted to Rustim in a romantic sense even though they were alone together so much, but they shared a similar philosophy towards psychology and were now training their respective groups of Grashnalans in nearly the same way. _

"_So how are your new patients doing, Rustim?" Deanna asked._

_Rustim paused to swallow a bite of sandwich before answering, "Very well. I think I got the easier group this week. These adults are very capable and catch on quickly to the concepts of shielding, receiving, and sending. How about your group?"_

_Deanna sighed contentedly, "They're wonderful. This is a great group of children. Their abilities are so similar to mine!" A frown crossed her face. "I was worried at the beginning though. I had never worked with children on Betazed. I wasn't sure I'd be able to help the Grashnalans, but working with them makes me so happy. This is almost like a vacation, not work!"_

"_I wish I felt like you, Deanna!" Rustim tossed his napkin on the table and began to pace. "I'm bored! I could do this job in my sleep! Why won't Selroi give me something more difficult to do? You don't need a babysitter any more. You represent Starfleet better than some of those twenty-year veterans we're working with. Selroi thinks because I'm young and haven't been around as much, I can't handle anything difficult, but I can! I know I can!"_

_Deanna didn't say anything for a few moments. She had felt something when Rustim began ranting, and she wanted to identify it before she confronted him. It was almost…yes…it __was__ defiance._

"_You're planning to go somewhere this afternoon, aren't you? Someplace you shouldn't. Aren't you, Rustim?"_

_He whirled, innocence masking his face. "And if I were? What would you do about it?"_

_Deanna chose her next words carefully. "Commander Selroi gave us very specific assignments. I do not think she would have given us this assignment—even if you think it too trivial—if it were not important that it be handled correctly. She is not someone to misuse our talents or give assignments based on personal bias. You know, when she finished her studies on Betazed, she studied with the Vulcans before accepting any posting with Starfleet. She knows what she is doing and we should—no, we __must__ trust her judgment."_

"_That's what I like about you, Deanna," Rustim began, "you're so trusting of Starfleet and all it holds dear. You're such a good little soldier. Who taught you to be so blindingly faithful?" He waved the question off. "Not important. What I need to know is—are you going to tell Selroi?"_

_Deanna sighed, "No, Rustim, __I__ won't tell her. But, if you do anything to jeopardize the mission…."_

_Rustim patted her on the shoulder. "You worry too much. Shall we meet up for dinner after our sessions? Say, 2030 hours?"_

_Deanna gave him a hard look, not sure if she trusted him to behave. He looked pleadingly at her, his hands clasped in a begging position. She laughed, mentally pushing the worry away and shook her head at him. "Sure. Just—Rustim—please be careful."_

_The transporter tech watched the woman pace back and forth. She had been waiting for someone for more than seventy minutes and had been scheduled to leave the surface for more than an hour. He hoped whomever she was waiting for was worth it._

"_That was too easy!" Rustim grinned as he made Deanna jump._

"_What?! Oh, you got in to the inner wards. Who did you see? What was it like?" Deanna quickly swallowed her fear of Rustim sneaking up on her. She gave herself a mental shake and reinforced her mental shielding. _

"_Oh, not too much different than the outer ring, but each of those severe cases is in an isolation room with special locks that only open from the outside. Fortunately, I found one of the guards who likes me, and he helped me get in and out." His face glowed with pleasure for a moment, then he continued gleefully, "Dee, it was so great! I met that priest Selroi told us about. You remember, the one who went crazy and killed all those parishioners? He's so docile now; it's hard to think that he actually killed eighteen people. He's very intelligent, an eloquent speaker…." Rustim stopped talking, caught up in his memories._

"_What did you talk about? Did you keep your shielding up? Could you sense anything from him?" Deanna was clearly worried._

"_Nah, I couldn't sense anything from him because, yes, I kept my mental shielding firmly in place. And we talked about all sorts of things: traveling the universe, teaching, scriptures, ice cream…. Hey, Deanna, let's get off this rock, I'm hungry!"_

_Deanna laughed and let herself be pulled onto the transporter pad. Rustim didn't seem any different and she couldn't sense anything wrong. Perhaps she had worried for nothing._

_When they materialized aboard the ship, she begged off going straight to his quarters for dinner, saying she needed a quick shower and a change of clothes. "Just give me twenty minutes, Rustim, please?"_

"_Only because you've been so nice to me today. Just hurry though, I'm starved!"_

_

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A/N #2: Thanks to everyone who's reading!! _


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_Nineteen minutes later, Deanna rang at Rustim's door. She felt a wave of a strange emotion coming from Rustim, but, as she was keeping her strongest mental shields up, it was only a flicker. Was she confusing Rustim's emotions with those coming from the planet? Closing her eyes, she started to sort the feelings, but was interrupted by Rustim opening the door and dragging her inside. Suddenly, Deanna didn't need to sort any feelings. She knew. Rustim was no longer her co-worker. He was all rage—rage so strong Deanna feared for her own safety. _

_Before she could break out of his grip and flee, Deanna found herself tied hand and foot to a chair, and Rustim was reaching for one more length of white cloth. She opened her mouth to scream and was quickly gagged._

"_Tsk, tsk, Counselor. We can't have you screaming. It would spoil my fun! And, oh, how I will enjoy killing you!" Rustim no longer sounded like the sane, intelligent officer he had been just a half-hour before._

_Deanna knew only one thing could save her: a mental shout for help. Empathy was her primary ability, but if she were to get out alive, she'd have to call out telepathically. Lowering her shields nearly knocked her unconscious. Rustim's killing rage was powerful, acting like a physical blow and making her nauseous. Quickly blocking what she could, she 'shouted' with all her fear aiding her call to Commander Selroi, {Commander, Rustim's trying to kill me! PLEASE HELP!} _

_Rustim caught the last of her call and backhanded her across the face. "Call for help? You can't do that! Now, I've to rush this!" He continued muttering under his breath, but Deanna didn't listen, she concentrated on hearing the commander. She gathered herself to call again. {Commander Selroi! HELP ME!} Deanna could feel Selroi's shock at her message and could sense her going into command mode. Then, a rush of relief as she—finally—heard the commander respond. {Help's on the way, Deanna, just hang on!}_

_The emergency transporter beam grabbed her just before Rustim's hands could settle around her throat. Deanna saw Sickbay come into focus around her and heard Selroi's voice. "Hang on a moment Deanna, we're going to get Rustim sedated first."_

_Deanna watched as Doctor Simons, hypospray in hand, and three security guards tense as the transporter whined again. She felt her eyes go wide as she saw Rustim, a second after materialization, grab Dr. Simons' hand and sedate the poor doctor. He turned to the trio of security and gestured with one hand. "Come and get me!" Incredibly, Rustim managed to overpower and sedate the first two guards without much effort. Deanna could only watch helplessly as Rustim and the third guard began to struggle together. Suddenly, the guard whipped Rustim off his feet and his legs crashed into Deanna, knocking her to the floor. Bound to the chair and trapped on her left side, Deanna could now only hear the struggle between the two men. After several long seconds, she heard a gruff grunt and a thud. One of them was unconscious, but who was the victor? _

_Her chair tipped so she now faced the ceiling, and Rustim. He giggled with glee, "Now, for unfinished business, my dear!" _

_Deanna could feel both of his hands clamp around her throat and she knew she had to act quickly. {Commander! It didn't work! He's. . } But she lost the conversation as the room began to fade and thought she felt the heavy footsteps of someone running before becoming unconscious._

_

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A/N: I've posted 2 chapters because I'm going out of town for Spring Break and won't have computer access. Enjoy! Review! Happy Reading!!_


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Like I said, two chapters today due to vacation!! :) Please read, review and enjoy!

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**Chapter 8**

"_I think she's coming around, Doctor." Selroi nodded towards the biobed monitors. _

_Dr. Simons double checked the readouts and prepared a hypo, just in case. "Deanna," he called softly, "you're safe now. That's it. Easy now. Time to wake up."_

_Deanna screamed, and screamed again. She couldn't sense Rustim, but that didn't mean he wasn't near. Another scream tore from her throat before she realized that Commander Selroi and Doctor Simons were the only ones in Sickbay. Struggling for control, she brought her hands to her face to physically press her lips tightly shut. Still afraid, she began to tremble._

_Selroi caught her gaze and tried to reassure her officer. "He's not here, Deanna. No, Doctor, wait a moment," she said motioning for Dr. Simons to lower the hypospray. Sedation was not what Troi needed right now. She helped Troi sit up on the edge of the biobed and held her in a one-armed embrace, projecting reassurance and safety. _

_Dr. Simons, nodding in agreement, replaced the hypospray with the tricorder wand and began scanning his patient again. Deanna shivered and trembled, unable to stop, but finally gaining enough control to let her hands fall from her face. He looked at the commander, asking, "What can you do? Can you help her, Ayven?"_

_Selroi nodded and helped Troi off the bed. "Come on Deanna, I've something in my quarters that should help." Deanna was unable to do anything but follow Selroi out of Sickbay. Her trembling had slowed somewhat as they left, but she was still shaking badly enough to make walking an effort. She was holding herself so tightly, her fingers almost touched behind her back. There was nothing she could do to stop the shaking, and only the fact that they were in the corridors kept her from screaming again. She blindingly followed Selroi into the turbolift and down the next couple of corridors until they were safely inside Selroi's quarters. Once the doors hissed shut, Deanna let some of her control slip, and she let herself cry silently._

"_Rustim's in the brig. Dagaen's watching him to make sure he stays put, mentally speaking." Selroi moved around her quarters, lighting candles and pouring two rather large glasses of Aldebaran brandy from her personal stash. Handing over one of the glasses, she sat facing Troi. "Tell me what happened."_

_Deanna started by taking a large, shaky swallow and nearly choked. But the heat of the alcohol eased some of the emotions still swarming over her. She was soon able to stop crying and drew in a deep breath. "Commander, I—" she paused, unsure where to begin._

"_Where did he go, Deanna?" Selroi prompted, but different thought made her add another comment. "And, Ayven, please."_

_Deanna nodded, "Rus—he went to see a patient in the inner wards. He was bored. He thought you thought him too inexperienced and young to go in there and he wanted to prove you wrong. He saw the priest." She drank again, letting the brandy relax her a little more. "He said he'd be careful. He got one of the guards to help him." Deanna couldn't meet Ayven's gaze, "I helped him, too. I'm sorry. I should have told you I knew what he was planning. I didn't think." A thought suddenly crossed her mind, "He didn't k—he didn't hurt anyone else, did he …, Ayven?" Deanna closed her eyes, dreading the answer._

"_No, only you, my dear," Ayven reached over to squeeze her hand. "The only one he managed to hurt was you. And, __I'm__ sorry. I knew he wasn't happy with my orders. I'm sorry I underestimated his resentment of the assignment. I'm sorry he hurt you." Ayven let her own emotions flow freely to let Deanna truly sense how she felt. Even after all those years on Vulcan, with another Betazoid, even a half-Betazoid, emotions spoke louder than words and conveyed the meaning far more clearly than mere words ever could._

_Deanna let Ayven feel her fear and relief now that Rustim was under guard. She opened her mind to Ayven's guilt and sorrow. She also felt the commander's doubt and tried to convince her, "Ayven, I __will__ be all right. I __will__ recover." She would have said more, but a yawn overtook her._

_Selroi stood and reached over to help Troi to her feet, "Let me be your personal guard to your quarters. I'd like to talk to you again about this, when you're ready." _


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_Commander Selroi lowered herself into the chair opposite Captain Marshall's desk. She quietly accepted the steaming mug of tea before answering the captain's unspoken question regarding Rustim. "There isn't anything more I can do for him here, Captain. We'll have to return to Betazed for him to get better treatment. And Troi __says__ she's fine…"_

"_But you don't believe her, Commander?" Marshall asked quietly. "Why would she lie to you?"_

_Selroi sighed, "She's not truly lying to __me__, sir, but rather to herself. One day soon, this will affect her. Not her job performance, but on a personal level, this will continue to bother her until she fully examines it."_

"_He hurt her that badly then?"_

_She shook her head, "Physically, no, but this was a friend, a colleague and someone she trusted. Betrayal in that kind of relationship is always more traumatic than if her attacker had been a stranger." She drained her mug and then continued, "On a more positive note, I think that we have successfully completed our mission here on Grashnal. Other than Rustim, there haven't been any violent episodes in months, and the scientists have the mental enhancer well under control now. They are also going to stop any further administrations of the formula for one full year and see how these new abilities affect the general population over time. The government has also assured us that if these new abilities are not well received by the general population, they will cease all further administrations and allow the 'gift' to end with those who have already received it."_

_Captain Marshall ran a hand over his thinning hair in thought. He punched a key on his terminal. "Hmm, the __Zhukov__ is in the area and ready for reassignment. Let me contact Starfleet and see if the __Zhukov__ can take you and the rest of the team to Betazed while we return to Earth for refit. Commander Troi can remain on board here and be back at headquarters in time for the __Enterprise's__ launching." _

"_If Starfleet agrees, that would seem to be the best course of action, sir."_

"_I'll contact Admiral Naves and have a reply for you in the morning. Thank you for your work on this assignment, Commander. I'm sorry we had to end on such a bittersweet note."_

"_As am I, Captain. As am I."_

_

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A/N: OK, OK, I know. I go away for a long weekend and when I come back all I give you is this little chapter?!? Never fear...the rest will be coming in due time. And just to whet your appetite -- Rustim's not done yet..._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

_Starfleet agreed to the team transferring to the __Zukov__, but not to Deanna staying aboard the __Boxe__r. The entire team, complete with Rustim in the brig, was headed to Betazed._

"_So, you're going to be the first full-time counselor aboard the flagship. What do you think the challenges might be?" Selroi asked as Troi went through her morning stretching routine in the __Zhukov's__ gym._

_Troi blew a strand of hair out of her eyes, contemplating her answer. "Well, I've never served a shift on the bridge, but I don't anticipate any problems there. I am concerned about serving on a mostly human ship. All those emotions…. And how will __they__ see __me__?"_

_Selroi nodded in agreement. "Humans do tend to like their mental privacy. Yet I think that once they realize you're someone they can trust, someone who will listen and not judge, they'll not only come to see you, you won't be able to keep them away. I think you'll do all of your teachers and your training proud." Ayven smiled knowingly at her. "Do you know how you got this assignment, Deanna?"_

_Deanna took her cue from the commander. "No, Ayven, I just assumed that Starfleet assigned us psychologists where they saw need."_

"_Well, yes, in part, that's true. But __I__ recommended you for the __Enterprise__ position." Ayven grinned. "After the first two weeks on Grashnal, I knew you'd be perfect for the job. And Picard will, eventually, come to trust you more than he will realize. I know him. He's a fantastic captain. He'll be a bit hesitant at first, but he'll come around. He's never had a counselor before, let alone full-time. Nor has he had a ship with families, so he might soon realize he needs you. It will be a very interesting tour."_

_Deanna stood and shook out her arms and legs a bit. "Why did you recommend me and not take the job yourself, Ayven?" She had sensed Ayven's slight jealousy over the plum position._

_Holding out a towel, Ayven replied, "It wasn't for me to take. Starfleet wanted a younger counselor, __and__ they're sending me to headquarters to head the psychiatric corps. Although I __am__ a little jealous that you will be zipping around the stars, encountering new species, fighting the Romulans, and having all sorts of adventures, I am looking forward to the challenges of an administrative position at Starfleet. While your new posting is __your__ chance of a lifetime, the one at headquarters is __mine__." She smiled warmly. "Besides, I hear the first officer is really good looking."_

"_Ayven, you aren't in league with my mother, are you?" Deanna eyed her cautiously._

"_Never met her!" Then, glancing at the chrono, she asked, "Aren't you due on the bridge soon?"_

_Deanna followed her gaze and nodded, "In about an hour. Time enough for me to change and have some breakfast. I'll find you after my shift and tell you all about it."_


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: There's only one more chapter after this! THANK YOU ALL so much for reading!!!

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**Chapter 11**

"_So, Counselor, this is now your third bridge shift aboard the __Zukov__. What do you think?" Captain Grenshaw fixed a very serious look at this young officer, but she could sense his humor behind the question._

"_Well, sir. . .," she sensed he liked a good joke and was ready to alleviate the boredom of the journey, "permission to speak frankly?" When he nodded, she continued, "To be honest, sir, it has been quite uneventful and a tad boring." Deanna hoped she had read him correctly. _

_She smiled when he roared with laughter. _

"_Boring! Boring she calls bridge duty! By all that's holy!" Grenshaw liked this young woman and wished he could keep her aboard instead of passing her along to the __Enterprise__. He leaned closer to her and whispered, "Most of the time, it __is__ boring, Counselor. But, every once in a while, something exciting happens, and it makes the boredom worthwhile." He would have continued in this vein a little longer, but the frantic movements at the science stations caught his eye. "What's happening, Mr. Teal?"_

_Teal looked up from his console and swallowed hard. "Ion storm, sir. Right in our path, and it will hit us in about. . .two minutes. Sorry, sir. It just appeared."_

"_No apologies necessary, Teal." Grenshaw raised his voice a bit, "All hands, this is the captain, we are about to be hit by an ion storm. Red alert and brace for impact in less than one minute."_

_The storm hit the ship and spun it like a toy. Lights flickered, then died. Vents ruptured, sending steam everywhere. The bridge officers struggled to stay at their posts, or at least in their seats, but one final shake of the ship sent everyone to the floor. The storm only lasted a minute, but the damage it had done would take hours to repair._

_Deanna Troi picked herself up off the floor and looked around. The emergency lights had engaged, bathing the bridge in a strange yellow glow. She couldn't sense anyone in great distress, except the ensign at the con position. He was in pain. She went to him and assessed his injuries. "Just a broken arm, Ensign. Let me take you to Sickbay." For a brief moment, she couldn't believe she was voluntarily going to Sickbay, but she reminded herself that this was a different ship, and Rustim was safely below in the brig under guard._

_Arriving in Sickbay, she found the doctor locked in a heated argument with two scientists. Knowing she could help them more than the poor ensign, she interrupted, "Excuse me, Doctor? I'm Lieutenant Commander Troi, and I've brought you a patient. Could we switch places?"_

_The doctor gave her a grateful look. He knew who and what she was, namely someone much more qualified to handle two irate scientists. Leading the ensign to a biobed, he heard Troi begin, "What seems to be the problem, gentlemen?"_

_Ten minutes later, the doctor came back over to Deanna, handing her a glass of water. "That was beautifully done! Thank you so much! Those two have been a pain ever since they beamed aboard. I hope they __can__ salvage their experiment, if only so they will leave me alone! Now, I know that you came on an errand of mercy and I roped you into a different one, but could I beg you for one more? I have a pregnant Bajoran across the hall who came in for her regular checkup, and I'm afraid with all the other emergencies, I haven't had time to check on her. I'll be working on Ensign King over here if you need anything. She isn't due for another two months, but I just need to be sure she made it through the storm alright."_

"_Not a problem, doctor," Deanna smiled, "I'm happy to help." She crossed the hallway and into the room and felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise. Something was not right. She couldn't sense anything from the woman, and in the low light, she could see the woman's neck was at a strange angle. Cold sweat broke out over her brow and her stomach dropped in fear. Reaching out to touch the woman's shoulder, Deanna knew she was dead. But before Deanna could call for the doctor, she found herself flying backwards, Rustim grabbing for her throat._

_She fought hard, but he was bigger, stronger. They rolled through the door, back into the empty hallway. Rustim got the upper hand and slammed her into the floor, half knocking the wind out of her. Deanna fought to regain control, but it was no use—he had his hands securely around her throat again._

"_I should tie you up first." Rustim chanced a look around. "But there isn't time."_

_Deanna tried to scream, but she couldn't make a sound. She tried to send, to reach Selroi, but her vision was already fading and she couldn't concentrate. She heard Rustim's lunatic cackle and realized she was going to die. Again. _

_Then, suddenly, Rustim collapsed on top of her, moaning and clutching his head instead of her throat. She pushed him off and rolled away from him, coughing. Looking up she saw Commander Selroi and the doctor, who bent and jabbed a hypospray into Rustim's neck, rendering him unconscious._

_Deanna scrambled to her feet to get farther away from her would-be killer. Selroi stepped over the prone Rustim. "Deanna, are you all right?"_

"_What in the devil was he doing in my Sickbay?" The doctor roared as he surveyed the unconscious man on the floor, Commander Selroi pale and shaken, and Counselor Troi equally pale and shaken with fingerprints clearly visible on her neck. He would have said more, but he had to lunge to catch Troi as she collapsed in a dead faint._


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

_Deanna screamed, coming to with a jolt and sitting straight up in one motion. Immediately at her side were Selroi and the doctor._

"_Take it easy, Deanna, you're safe now." Selroi said._

_Deanna looked incredulous, not completely trusting her._

"_Yes, you're safe." The doctor countered. "He's under guard again, and not likely escape from __that__ cell. You're going to have a sore throat for another day or two," the doctor explained as he ran a tricorder over her._

_Deanna swallowed once, wincing. She was surprised to see the guest quarters she had been assigned instead of Sickbay. The doctor seemed to notice her surprise. "You're __here__, rather in Sickbay thanks to Commander Selroi. I guess sickbays aren't going to be your favorite places for a while. But, that's fine with me. Sometimes, it isn't my favorite place either. I'll be back later to check on you."_

_Selroi had gone to the other room while the doctor was talking and she returned now with a steaming mug. "Hot chocolate," she said with a smile, "I know its one of your favorites."_

_Deanna took the mug and held it close, letting the aroma soothe her. Taking a sip, she sensed Selroi had news for her that wasn't pleasant. "Whatever it is, Ayven, you'd better tell me," she said softly._

_Selroi sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. "Rustim blames you for this, for everything that's happened since that last day on Grashnal. He's completely insane now, and I don't know if he'll ever recover." She sighed again. "I'm sorry to burden you with this..."_

"_But knowing is better." Deanna interrupted, "I'm not sure what to say. Rustim and I are, well, were, friends. But the person...that thing…that attacked me, wasn't Rustim anymore." A lone tear traced a path down her cheek. "I've never lost a friend to violence before. " She sipped her mug, lost in thought._

_After several minutes, Ayven asked softly. "Will you be all right, Deanna?"_

_She blinked, startled out of her thoughts. "All right? Yes, I think so." Deanna gave her commanding officer a sincere look. "I don't think anything I could have done or said would have made a difference. Nor do I think that there was anything __you__ could have done either, Ayven." Deanna added, sensing the commander's guilty feelings. She put the mug down on the nightstand. "I hope that all this," she waved her hand to indicate the ship, the planet, and all that the mission had encompassed, "will help me to do my job as well as you do yours, Ayven."_

_Selroi was taken aback by the compliment. "As well as __I? M__y dear, one day, one day soon, you'll do better! I don't think there is a situation Starfleet can throw at you that you won't be able to handle."_

"I think I'd like Selroi," Beverly said with a smile.

"I know she'd like you, too, Beverly. I still keep in touch with her. The last I heard from her, she was back on Betazed, basking in the glow of grandmother-hood." Deanna sensed (and knew) that Beverly wanted the rest of the story, and, after weathering the worst of it, she wanted Bev to sweat out the last details. Deanna rose and headed to the replicator. "Can I get you anything?"

"Oh, no, nothing for me." Beverly was distracted by one last question. "Um, Deanna, I don't mean to push, but what became of Rustim?"

Deanna brought her tea to the couch. "Well, whatever the priest did to his mind has had lasting effects. He still blames me for everything, including "letting" him go visit the priest. He's confined to the Institute on Betazed, with a team of specialists trying to figure out exactly what the priest did to his mind. Personally, I think part of Rustim's own psychological makeup is coming into play, and, until he realizes that, he'll never be the Rustim I knew."

Beverly shook her head in amazement. "So, that's it. That's why you don't like being in Sickbay."

"Yes. It's also why I've been having nightmares. When the rebels captured me, it was stressful, and I didn't like it. But when I beamed into Sickbay, still tied to that chair…." Deanna shuddered.

"It brought back all the memories of what Rustim did to you," Beverly finished. "You know, Deanna, I don't think you'll have nightmares anymore. You've put it all together, brought it out, examined it, and realized it can't hurt you anymore." Beverly looked smug. "And I only had two psychology classes at the Academy."

Deanna could only stare at her friend. Then, she began to laugh. "You're right! Rustim can't hurt me anymore." She quickly sobered. "Beverly, thank you. I—I don't know what else to say. You were right and—"

Beverly stopped her, "Please, Deanna, what I did, you would do for me." She stood and headed for the door. As she reached to unlock it, she paused and turned back towards Deanna, genuine concern showing on her face, but mirth in her eyes. "Now, do I need to come over tonight?"

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_A/N: I know you're reading. I watch my traffic screen! Now, if you liked it, review it. If you didn't like it, you can tell me that too! I don't care if you find this a week after I post, a month, heck, even years after I've posted--PLEASE REVIEW!! Kind of like those old labels when we rented VHS tapes--they said, "Be Kind, Rewind." I'm saying, "Be Kind, Review!!" _

_Respectfully submitted, RRSherlock._


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